Sometimes it takes a storm...

I feel more and more like this tree lately.... except trying to withstand a really strong storm that i know is passing... eventually. I feel blown around and its all I can do to stay standing. But for some reason, deep down, I feel like my foundation is holding me up, giving me strength. Sometimes I get so excited about how tall I'm growing and how beautiful the branches and flowers, that I forget to acknowledge what's holding me up. Sometimes it takes a storm to help me to stay grounded. I await the releif after this one.

Alma 41:15 "For that which ye do send out shall return unto you again..."

I had posted a blog about some of my experiences here in Utah and I decided to take it down... because ... well, why dwell on the past. I am actually very happy with where I am entirely. But I do have hope that it will only get better. And when it gets harder, I have learned that I can still maintain my center / happiness / hope... because whatever it is won't conquer me, and i can get through it. The biggest thing I've learned lately, is that problems will arise... but I will learn how to handle each one more and more gracefully... with more faith... and more patience... and more humility. I have hope that God looks out for me because I believe what he says. I believe in his promises. And if I'm not happy, its because I'm not doing my part. I need to listen more carefully to his guidance. It makes sense.

I ONCE ASKED SOMEONE THEIR MOST AND LEAST FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT ME WERE....

FOR SOMEONE WHOM I HADN'T KNOWN VERY LONG.... I FELT LIKE HE KNEW ME BETTER THAN I KNEW MYSELF AT THAT POINT.

- My favorite thing about Aftan Diane Walker (T. R. ) ;-)
Physical aspect...your eyes. They say a mouthful. Non physical aspect...there is a very deep and underlying ocean of thought and compassion that you carry with you and reflects how you see the world. I do sense a little struggle within yourself on topics and ideals, but your well anchored and have a kind soul.
- My least favorite thing about you...sometimes this ocean of profound thought is so underlying that someone wanting to share ideas and thoughts and emotions, has their work cut out for them. however the reason I notice this aspect of you is because I also tend to do the same, and hide a whole side of me from people at times. So it's something I can identify with. And the fact that I notice this in you and can relate, makes me feel good and not so alone as a human being ...so then it becomes one of my favorite aspects of you...so I guess I can't really think of much I don't like about you.

I wrote a poem...

I’VE FORGOTTON
The moment I knew I loved you
Our first and second first kiss
The smell you left on my pillow
The warmth of your breath
How much I love your smile
The deep blue in your eyes
Everything about you
Even the tears you made me cry.

RED AIR ALERT

Such beautiful mountains..... but how can I appreciate their beauty if I can't see them? I'm a little concerned about breathing this Utah air. I heard on the news today that Utah has the 2nd highest cases of autisim. I've noticed that Utah also has a high amount of Cancer / tumor cases (not sure of the stats). Utah is highly medicated (fact).... It makes me wonder if the air has anything to do with all this. And something about nuclear testing not too far from here at some time... it may have been a long time ago, but does it really just go away? where does it go?.... I'm sure there are a lot of statistics that I haven't come across that are probably just as shocking. So what's the answer? Can we actually clean the air? I don't wanna find out I have a tumor in a year... or 10 yrs at that. Maybe i'll invest in a gas mask.

BALANCE

LOVE, WORK, PLAY, PEOPLE, MAINTAINENCE, SPIRIT, PRAYER, MEDITATION... Why do we get off balance so easily? Is it so difficult to juggle and balance everything? Or is there one thing that can be off balance and just throw all the others off as well? Is there one think that we can maintain, concentrate on, nurture, and then all the other things fall perfectly into balance as a result? I think so. Why then is it still so difficult? I'll tell you why, because that one thing that can make everything else easy.... is the one thing that the adversary attacks most. THAT IS OUR FAITH/CONNECTION WITH GOD. If the adversary can weaken our faith, and influence us to lose contact with God, then everything else crumbles too. If we lose faith that God will really help us, or that we don't feel worthey of his help, we become in despair. And its just downhill from there, unless we can shake ourselves out of it, out of the thick, dark, hopelessness, and REMEMBER WHO WE ARE, and humble ourselves, because we know that we need God, we need Jesus, They do love us, we are going to be ok, and the future is bright, and we do have faith. We can have BALANCE because we have faith in God, and he knows our hearts, desires, pains, joys... and he is aware, he is God. Alpha and Omega. And we depend on him, he is more than capable, he is loving. Where are our hearts? Are they turned to Him? Are we looking to the one fixed Being who can organize and balance our lives? I hope that never again will i lose sight of Him, or lose faith, because He is the one stationery and guiding force in my life.... and will always be.

O-BA-MA O-BA-MA

I have to say that I was slightly impressed with President Obama's Inagural speech. I liked how he encouraged us to serve our neighbor, and emphasized the desire for world peace (in so many words or less). Thats about all I was impressed with. ALTHOUGH, I did feel like it was more emphasis on the "party" and the "celebrating" that Obama is president because he's black and that means there's no more racisim in the world, rather than respecting a man who is humble and realizes the sacredness of this new responsability, and is honored just to serve and seeks no glory... seeks no party... seeks no recognition... but only seeks to do the will of God... And that man just left the office of President.

I HOPE FOR THE BEST